Among the best part of my work is meeting different people and getting a chance to hear their story and their life experiences..the following is a little satire or rather a fun take on life as seen by a few of the amazing people that i get to meet and interact with ( psst. It's mostly just me :P )
1) You've finally graduated to a “real” email address, something “professional”, though you often find yourself feeling nostalgic for your first email, rife with xx’s, sHiT tYpEd OuT LiKe dIs and a Fan boy reference.
2) You have your own place, most likely with cohabitants, but you still sheepishly expect your parents to do laundry whenever you visit them.
3) Your Google search history includes questions like “the fastest way to clean denims?" " How to bypass Websense?” or “How to bypass Websense without admin privileges?”
4) You’re still not 100% sure what investing or portfolio is, but if you have one, you like to say things like “I have a very diverse investment portfolio” at parties.
5) If you have a car, it probably has a college sticker from your Alma mater in the back window, and you realize that you are slowly crossing the threshold of people assuming it’s your Alma mater to asking you if your kid goes there.
6) Coffee is considered either a major food group or, if not that, a daily supplement. It should technically be covered by your health insurance provided by your employer.
7) Your hairstyle is a constant source of insecurity because you can never tell if you look older or younger than your age.
8) You have accumulated a very large collection of pens, 95% of which don’t seem to work but you keep them anyway.
9) A "Work from home day" is basically you sleeping with your laptop switched on instead of putting it on stand by since you want to be seen "Available".
10) “Sick Days,”too, are much harder to justify. Basically, if you aren’t puking or bleeding, you go to work like a grown up.
11) You have at least one or more contacts in your phone that says something along the lines of "Pune guesthouse" " Ironing wale bhaiya" "Neha Who" as a description of some person you once met or call more regularly than your family.
12) You routinely list your childhood best friend/ hostel roommate on your resume as a “character reference”?—?because they are, truly, the one person in your life qualified to refer to you as “quite a character.”
13) You've already found a few stray gray hairs and you've decided to keep them because they make you seem more mature. and that beard just makes you look more sexy..you sexy thing!!!
14) You’ve said, “Sorry, I’m still pretty new here” for at least the first six months at your job.
15) Shows like Girls infuriate you: no one you know has an apartment or wardrobe half as chic as those girls.
16) You’ve worn the same pair of underwear for two days because, you know, if you turn them inside out it’s basically like they’re still clean. Right? okay lemme rephrase that for my more hygienic friends, you did so cause you're living out of a duffel bag always travelling and the laundry at your last hotel wouldn't return it within the duration of your stay.
17) You might be the youngest person in your office, but you’re pretty sure you’re the only one who knows anything about #Life.
18) Suddenly everyone is “really chill” talking about masturbation. Dude mera 9 in a day ka record thod k bata..Taj mein party deta hoon.
19) People no longer ask what your parents do; they ask what you do.
20) Going to sleep before two am is to present-day-you as going to sleep by eleven pm was to childhood-you.
21) You see a cute baby in the grocery store in the cereal aisle and you think,“Oh, I can’t wait to be a parent.” but by the time you get to the milk you've heard enough screaming children to do a 180 and as you grab your carton,you shudder at the realization of “Ugh, kids.”
22) When you go to a doctor and he asks you how much exercise you get in a week you’re like, “Well, not that much I guess but I’m always really tired so I think I must be doing enough physical activity.”
23) You like to think you know about world affairs but even if you don’t you’ve figured out that saying “I can’t believe what’s happening in (insert any country, even your own) is always a conversation starter.
24) Every month when you pay rent you say, “Didn’t I just pay the rent?”
25) You semi-understand that your tax return isn’t exactly “free money” but it still is a nice surprise.
26) If you say you don’t like something and someone asks why, if you don’t feel like explaining it to them you just sigh and say, “It’s bad for the economy.”
27) On a first date you’ve been poised to ask, “So, how often are we realistically going to have sex?”
28) You have called your best friend specifically to ask them how they poop, because you are really starting to question if the western way is the best way.
29) You have had an inconvenient boner and surrendered to it. Maybe if you keep talking no one will notice...
30) You’re never sure when you can use a smiley face in a work email, but once you see someone else do it you’re relieved.
31) You budget your groceries in the sense that if it’s above a certain amount when you check out, you audibly groan.
32) If you’re in a relationship, you’ve found yourself wondering if you’re going to get married. If you’re not in a relationship, you’ve found yourself wondering if you’re going to get married.
33) You have a Pinterest board specifically dedicated to getting you into your “happy place” after a hard day. May or may not include puppies.
34) You’ve specifically denied that there are any similarities between your current girlfriend and your mother.
35) “Free food” is a pick-up line.
36) When attempting to “woo” a potential date, you’ve heard yourself say, “My roommates are totally chill with me having people overnight.”?—?unless, of course, you still live with your parents.
37) Your willing adherence to expiration dates is directly proportional to how much money you spent on the item.
38) You’re excited about getting mail for about .5 seconds until you realize it’s all bills, spam and your boss.
39) The first time you go in to a job interview and you have legit, well-thought out answers to all their questions and then they hire you because you are actually, completely qualified is such an amazing moment that you don’t understand why they haven’t included the key to the city in your new hire package.
40) You still save Word docs as “have to give it today" and you’re wondering when you’ll grow out of that.
41) You have yelled, “but i just shaved today?? Does that mean nothing to you?” during a heated argument.
42) You have a thermometer in your cabinet, but you’ve never used it because if you feel shitty enough to take your temperature, you feel too shitty to get out of bed and walk to the cabinet.
43) Washing dishes is a thing you do when you haven’t got much else going on and your roommate used all the fresh ones.
44) Your parents suddenly seem really old, yet your grandparents are just as old as you remember them.
45) You have nightmares about tripping over your words when you have to answer the phone or being ridiculed at by grammar Nazi
46) The last person to knock on your door was either the pizza guy or someone asking for money. Your friends don’t knock and your family certainly just barges right in.
47) You’re just old enough to forget how to hold a pen. That shit is scary bro!!!!
48) You’re now the young “up and comer” at the office that your father is alternately terrified of/annoyed by.
49) You’re no longer getting taller, you’re actually getting shorter.
50) Suddenly you realize no one has asked you about college in a really long time, and it’s been years since they asked about school.
51) You have this nagging need to gain closure about a girl. It bothers you that you don’t know why or how a person becomes a part of you. You know they exist, but how?
52) You don’t realize how uninteresting you are until you meet someone who is actually really interesting. This is the time of your life when that’s going to happen, if it hasn't already.
53) Just when you think you’re still “too young” to worry about big disease , someone your age gets it and you’re like, “Damn it.”
54) Having a lot of condoms either means you have a lot of sex or you haven’t had any in a really long time. Don’t divulge to guests; allow them to wonder.
55) You and your friend have made a will in case either of you die and while everything else has been thought of..both can't decide who gets to have the porn collection because obviously that's too much of emotional baggage to carry.
56) You realize you don’t actually own a pair of scissors and you don’t know how you let that happen.
57) Until someone points it out, it never occurs to you that you have to change bed sheets every once in a while, Hail Laxmi bai!! ( I seriously can't imagine living like i do without her )
58) Whenever you sign a check or otherwise important document you get nervous that your signature doesn’t look enough like a previous signature and someone will be like, “Hey, are you really you because when you signed your license three years ago you dotted your I’s with hearts and now you don’t.”
59) When you can’t sleep at night nine times out of ten it’s because you remembered that one time when you were like, thirteen, and you were alone with your girlfriend and all you could do was hold hands, and suddenly your life seems like a terrible mistake.
60) The amount of money you spend is directly proportional to how lonely you are and how much you miss the love of your life.
61) You suddenly like all actresses well cause you don't know shit about acting and they all are too pretty to chose.
62) With every death in Game of Thrones you have a sigh of relief that it's not Tyrion Lannister, cause bedding whores and drinking wine all day and to have kick ass lines and general badass wisery is your dream
63) You can't explain What the Fuck is Nutella ??
64) When at home, It's "No Pants Day". Everyday.
65) The focus has always been on People and Time but now you seem to be running out of both.
66) Some times you sit at the beach just because you want to be alone. Nothing big. Just alone.
67) The nights are your favorite time of a day. (see what i did there :P )
68) By now you're addicted to at least one kind of drug...not the narcotic wala re, music, work, working out, singing. You're now looking to make life more fulfilling.
69) Isn't this like dinner for two? ( Sorry had to say that, Peace Yo!)
70 ) I should really stop this, it will never stop it seems, Also if you're reading this please visit the comments section and put in your kind words.
71) I know how many of you visit, just try being nice na. This tall dark handsome guy can do some good appreciative words.
While the list is endless , I would love for you to help keep the list going, share what defines That time in our life.
#9 That time in our life
1) You've finally graduated to a “real” email address, something “professional”, though you often find yourself feeling nostalgic for your first email, rife with xx’s, sHiT tYpEd OuT LiKe dIs and a Fan boy reference.
2) You have your own place, most likely with cohabitants, but you still sheepishly expect your parents to do laundry whenever you visit them.
3) Your Google search history includes questions like “the fastest way to clean denims?" " How to bypass Websense?” or “How to bypass Websense without admin privileges?”
4) You’re still not 100% sure what investing or portfolio is, but if you have one, you like to say things like “I have a very diverse investment portfolio” at parties.
5) If you have a car, it probably has a college sticker from your Alma mater in the back window, and you realize that you are slowly crossing the threshold of people assuming it’s your Alma mater to asking you if your kid goes there.
6) Coffee is considered either a major food group or, if not that, a daily supplement. It should technically be covered by your health insurance provided by your employer.
7) Your hairstyle is a constant source of insecurity because you can never tell if you look older or younger than your age.
8) You have accumulated a very large collection of pens, 95% of which don’t seem to work but you keep them anyway.
9) A "Work from home day" is basically you sleeping with your laptop switched on instead of putting it on stand by since you want to be seen "Available".
10) “Sick Days,”too, are much harder to justify. Basically, if you aren’t puking or bleeding, you go to work like a grown up.
11) You have at least one or more contacts in your phone that says something along the lines of "Pune guesthouse" " Ironing wale bhaiya" "Neha Who" as a description of some person you once met or call more regularly than your family.
12) You routinely list your childhood best friend/ hostel roommate on your resume as a “character reference”?—?because they are, truly, the one person in your life qualified to refer to you as “quite a character.”
13) You've already found a few stray gray hairs and you've decided to keep them because they make you seem more mature. and that beard just makes you look more sexy..you sexy thing!!!
14) You’ve said, “Sorry, I’m still pretty new here” for at least the first six months at your job.
15) Shows like Girls infuriate you: no one you know has an apartment or wardrobe half as chic as those girls.
16) You’ve worn the same pair of underwear for two days because, you know, if you turn them inside out it’s basically like they’re still clean. Right? okay lemme rephrase that for my more hygienic friends, you did so cause you're living out of a duffel bag always travelling and the laundry at your last hotel wouldn't return it within the duration of your stay.
17) You might be the youngest person in your office, but you’re pretty sure you’re the only one who knows anything about #Life.
18) Suddenly everyone is “really chill” talking about masturbation. Dude mera 9 in a day ka record thod k bata..Taj mein party deta hoon.
19) People no longer ask what your parents do; they ask what you do.
20) Going to sleep before two am is to present-day-you as going to sleep by eleven pm was to childhood-you.
21) You see a cute baby in the grocery store in the cereal aisle and you think,“Oh, I can’t wait to be a parent.” but by the time you get to the milk you've heard enough screaming children to do a 180 and as you grab your carton,you shudder at the realization of “Ugh, kids.”
22) When you go to a doctor and he asks you how much exercise you get in a week you’re like, “Well, not that much I guess but I’m always really tired so I think I must be doing enough physical activity.”
23) You like to think you know about world affairs but even if you don’t you’ve figured out that saying “I can’t believe what’s happening in (insert any country, even your own) is always a conversation starter.
24) Every month when you pay rent you say, “Didn’t I just pay the rent?”
25) You semi-understand that your tax return isn’t exactly “free money” but it still is a nice surprise.
26) If you say you don’t like something and someone asks why, if you don’t feel like explaining it to them you just sigh and say, “It’s bad for the economy.”
27) On a first date you’ve been poised to ask, “So, how often are we realistically going to have sex?”
28) You have called your best friend specifically to ask them how they poop, because you are really starting to question if the western way is the best way.
29) You have had an inconvenient boner and surrendered to it. Maybe if you keep talking no one will notice...
30) You’re never sure when you can use a smiley face in a work email, but once you see someone else do it you’re relieved.
31) You budget your groceries in the sense that if it’s above a certain amount when you check out, you audibly groan.
32) If you’re in a relationship, you’ve found yourself wondering if you’re going to get married. If you’re not in a relationship, you’ve found yourself wondering if you’re going to get married.
33) You have a Pinterest board specifically dedicated to getting you into your “happy place” after a hard day. May or may not include puppies.
34) You’ve specifically denied that there are any similarities between your current girlfriend and your mother.
35) “Free food” is a pick-up line.
36) When attempting to “woo” a potential date, you’ve heard yourself say, “My roommates are totally chill with me having people overnight.”?—?unless, of course, you still live with your parents.
37) Your willing adherence to expiration dates is directly proportional to how much money you spent on the item.
38) You’re excited about getting mail for about .5 seconds until you realize it’s all bills, spam and your boss.
39) The first time you go in to a job interview and you have legit, well-thought out answers to all their questions and then they hire you because you are actually, completely qualified is such an amazing moment that you don’t understand why they haven’t included the key to the city in your new hire package.
40) You still save Word docs as “have to give it today" and you’re wondering when you’ll grow out of that.
41) You have yelled, “but i just shaved today?? Does that mean nothing to you?” during a heated argument.
42) You have a thermometer in your cabinet, but you’ve never used it because if you feel shitty enough to take your temperature, you feel too shitty to get out of bed and walk to the cabinet.
43) Washing dishes is a thing you do when you haven’t got much else going on and your roommate used all the fresh ones.
44) Your parents suddenly seem really old, yet your grandparents are just as old as you remember them.
45) You have nightmares about tripping over your words when you have to answer the phone or being ridiculed at by grammar Nazi
46) The last person to knock on your door was either the pizza guy or someone asking for money. Your friends don’t knock and your family certainly just barges right in.
47) You’re just old enough to forget how to hold a pen. That shit is scary bro!!!!
48) You’re now the young “up and comer” at the office that your father is alternately terrified of/annoyed by.
49) You’re no longer getting taller, you’re actually getting shorter.
50) Suddenly you realize no one has asked you about college in a really long time, and it’s been years since they asked about school.
51) You have this nagging need to gain closure about a girl. It bothers you that you don’t know why or how a person becomes a part of you. You know they exist, but how?
52) You don’t realize how uninteresting you are until you meet someone who is actually really interesting. This is the time of your life when that’s going to happen, if it hasn't already.
53) Just when you think you’re still “too young” to worry about big disease , someone your age gets it and you’re like, “Damn it.”
54) Having a lot of condoms either means you have a lot of sex or you haven’t had any in a really long time. Don’t divulge to guests; allow them to wonder.
55) You and your friend have made a will in case either of you die and while everything else has been thought of..both can't decide who gets to have the porn collection because obviously that's too much of emotional baggage to carry.
56) You realize you don’t actually own a pair of scissors and you don’t know how you let that happen.
57) Until someone points it out, it never occurs to you that you have to change bed sheets every once in a while, Hail Laxmi bai!! ( I seriously can't imagine living like i do without her )
58) Whenever you sign a check or otherwise important document you get nervous that your signature doesn’t look enough like a previous signature and someone will be like, “Hey, are you really you because when you signed your license three years ago you dotted your I’s with hearts and now you don’t.”
59) When you can’t sleep at night nine times out of ten it’s because you remembered that one time when you were like, thirteen, and you were alone with your girlfriend and all you could do was hold hands, and suddenly your life seems like a terrible mistake.
60) The amount of money you spend is directly proportional to how lonely you are and how much you miss the love of your life.
61) You suddenly like all actresses well cause you don't know shit about acting and they all are too pretty to chose.
62) With every death in Game of Thrones you have a sigh of relief that it's not Tyrion Lannister, cause bedding whores and drinking wine all day and to have kick ass lines and general badass wisery is your dream
63) You can't explain What the Fuck is Nutella ??
64) When at home, It's "No Pants Day". Everyday.
65) The focus has always been on People and Time but now you seem to be running out of both.
66) Some times you sit at the beach just because you want to be alone. Nothing big. Just alone.
67) The nights are your favorite time of a day. (see what i did there :P )
68) By now you're addicted to at least one kind of drug...not the narcotic wala re, music, work, working out, singing. You're now looking to make life more fulfilling.
69) Isn't this like dinner for two? ( Sorry had to say that, Peace Yo!)
70 ) I should really stop this, it will never stop it seems, Also if you're reading this please visit the comments section and put in your kind words.
71) I know how many of you visit, just try being nice na. This tall dark handsome guy can do some good appreciative words.
While the list is endless , I would love for you to help keep the list going, share what defines That time in our life.
