I've been asked to write something on these lines for a very long time now and Honestly I think I should have written it a very long time ago. Here is for your reading pleasure :
It seems like everyone’s favorite topic of conversation, including my own, is dating and relationships. My friends are constantly telling me about their latest Cupid nightmare or hangover from their party from last night. Everyone I know is dating,having a crush or getting married (What a waste btw) yet we all can’t stop bitching about it. Well Bros, worry no further. Here are some ways you can separate yourselves from the average Bro and step up your dating game.
If you ask someone out, make a plan. One of the biggest pet peeves that I've come across is when the girl gets asked out on a date, and then the bro says to her, “So, what do you want to do?” Umm, maybe sit on my couch and watch Game of Thrones and maybe think about Jon Snow? But since She does that every other night, She's allowing you to make the decision for her. By accepting a date with you, She is giving up on her control-freak ways and putting her fate of the night into the hands of a (hopefully) competent human being. Dudes, if you are initiating the date (which you should be doing), then you pick the bar, restaurant, or activity that you do. That being said, don’t be a weirdo and choose a date that requires high athletic activity or getting in a bathing suit. If your first date goes well, then contact the person within two days, and ask them out again. Planning and initiating the dates shows that you are assertive, interested, and a go-getter. Plan everything and double check everything to ensure everything plays out the way you have planned it, always have time for "Nothing". This is where if something over runs the time dedicated to it you can eat up this time. I plan everything to the last possible detail from the food to the topics to be discussed, having said it'll take you time for you but doesn't mean you shouldn't. Also most importantly It should look effortless. Don't make it look like you put in a lot of effort, let her be the judge and see the effort on her own. If you are assertive with planning the dates, you are probably also assertive in other arenas.
Get where I’m going with this? Good.
The economy still kind of sucks and gender rules are outdated. That does not matter. Men, you pay for the first date. Ladies, be polite and offer to pay tip or split. But men, do not let them. This does not mean that you are misogynistic, it means you are a gentleman. If you really want to suave, pay the bill while she’s in the bathroom so you can just skip the back and forth of how it should be paid. After you’ve gone out a couple times, by all means split the bill — because the economy kind of sucks and gender rules are outdated. This actually solves two problems : a) by paying first she believes she's with someone who can take care of her. b) By letting her pay after a couple of times she will feel you treat her as equal. (Very important)
Bros, when you are going on a date, you want to be the best version of yourself. Open the door for your date (car doors are extra bonus points) and do not use the F, B, or C words or combinations of those. Be nice to the employees wherever you are and make sure to tip. The most important thing to remember is to put your phone away and keep it on silent. There is truly nothing shittier than going on a date and the person is on their phone the whole time. For all your date knows, you could be setting up a booty call for later in the night or reading about whether Kim had a baby or did Paris has her new video out. Put the phone down, you Millennial you. The game, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram can all wait until after your date.
If you’ve learned anything from The Little Mermaid, it’s to go on and kiss the girl (or that bestiality can be sexy, hopefully it’s the first). Now this is the tricky part and might need a lot of study and observation but with me its like this the first kiss should happen within the first three dates. If you wait too long, then you may get Friend-Zoned or she may think you’re not interested. A kiss doesn't mean you go all tongue wagging at her, Go in for the kiss if she’s giving you the green light. A lot of men have trouble reading signals; just because she is smiling and laughing does not necessarily mean she wants to go to third base with you. Notice her body language (leaning in and any kind of physical contact is good). Maybe she’ll touch your arm when she laughs at your dumb joke or challenge you to a thumb-war. If she’s touching you, she wants you to kiss her.
A word of caution here : This is after all India and it might or rather already be a very big deal for her so if she is worth the wait then by all means do wait. Your heart shall tell you. if it means something you'll know. How you ask? I'm yet to find out but you'll know when the time is right till then nothing beats the good old hug :)
Texting conversations are so FYJC. If you want to ask someone out, call them. If you are running late, text them. If you want to chat, call them. If you need an address or directions, text them. Keep texting to a minimum (especially if you’re drunk). Keep drunk texting in college where it belongs next to your porn collection and your ultra sexy chaddi.
Making strong eye contact shows that you are confident in yourself, and it shows that you are engaged and interested in the conversation at hand. By looking elsewhere, you are disengaging yourself from the conversation whether you mean to or not. Also, if you’re looking around, your date may assume that you’re not interested or even worse, you are checking out other people. It’s rude, it’s annoying, don’t do it. (Please don’t take this advice completely literally, because someone who makes too intense eye contact can also come across as creepy. You don’t need to stare into the depths of your date’s soul, but just show that you’re listening and you care.) FYI a direct eye contact lasting more than 7 seconds means an intention to have sex or murder.
This should really go without saying, but some guys are just not so adorably clueless. Guys, when you’re dating a new girl, remember that you’re also kind of dating her best friends too. You have to woo them by being so nice, so friendly, and so funny, without being so over-the-top. If you’re meeting them at a bar, buy them a round of Shots. Talk about how much you like Girls, Grey's Anatomy and 90210 and think it’s absurd that people are criticizing Lena Dunham’s naked body. They’ll like totally love you forever, which will come in handy if your girl is ever having second thoughts about you. If you meet her family, you’ve won her over. You’re officially dating, don’t fuck it up. Especially for me meeting the family is the next step to be honest. I usually don't meet family at all and by meeting I don't mean you talk to her mom when you've gone to pick her or drop her. Actually meeting the parents is a BIG deal for me. You might want to tread with caution here.
Your date made a large effort to look good for you, and most likely got the approval from her roomies on the perfect outfit to wear for you that borders sexy and skanky, but also cute at the same time. Tell her she looks pretty and smells good. Duh.
This is a no brainer, but sometimes people word vomit all over their dates and talk about their latest shitty break-up. If you’re not over your ex, do not waste someone else’s time by taking them on a date. If you bring her up, you’re not over it. If you talk shit about her, you’re not over it. If you’re “still friends”, you’re not over it (and maybe they’re still using them as a booty call). Basically, don’t bring it up.
This according to me is the game changer. If you've been dating someone for a bit, and you’re starting to really like her, then tell her. Do not go overboard and start talking about how she’s the nice, next door girl you've been waiting for and how your mom is so excited to meet her at Navratri dinner. Tell her you’re enjoying getting to know her and that you like her. Being honest about your feelings and communicating them in an appropriate and non-creepy way is a fine and important line. The only time you should not be honest with your date is if she asks you if she looks good in a certain outfit. Regardless of how much you don’t like that dress on her, tell her she looks beautiful and thin. If you don’t, you’ll be getting real cozy with your laptop instead of with your date.
Ps : Please note that all of the above is very circumstantial and might actually be very disastrous to say the least so please use caution while following my Playbook :)
Goes without saying that it also depends heavily on your girl as well (if you were smart enough to notice how it depends more on your date without me pointing it out, My friend you have thing going just right for you)
#5 The Playbook
It seems like everyone’s favorite topic of conversation, including my own, is dating and relationships. My friends are constantly telling me about their latest Cupid nightmare or hangover from their party from last night. Everyone I know is dating,having a crush or getting married (What a waste btw) yet we all can’t stop bitching about it. Well Bros, worry no further. Here are some ways you can separate yourselves from the average Bro and step up your dating game.
1. Plan and initiate the first dates.
If you ask someone out, make a plan. One of the biggest pet peeves that I've come across is when the girl gets asked out on a date, and then the bro says to her, “So, what do you want to do?” Umm, maybe sit on my couch and watch Game of Thrones and maybe think about Jon Snow? But since She does that every other night, She's allowing you to make the decision for her. By accepting a date with you, She is giving up on her control-freak ways and putting her fate of the night into the hands of a (hopefully) competent human being. Dudes, if you are initiating the date (which you should be doing), then you pick the bar, restaurant, or activity that you do. That being said, don’t be a weirdo and choose a date that requires high athletic activity or getting in a bathing suit. If your first date goes well, then contact the person within two days, and ask them out again. Planning and initiating the dates shows that you are assertive, interested, and a go-getter. Plan everything and double check everything to ensure everything plays out the way you have planned it, always have time for "Nothing". This is where if something over runs the time dedicated to it you can eat up this time. I plan everything to the last possible detail from the food to the topics to be discussed, having said it'll take you time for you but doesn't mean you shouldn't. Also most importantly It should look effortless. Don't make it look like you put in a lot of effort, let her be the judge and see the effort on her own. If you are assertive with planning the dates, you are probably also assertive in other arenas.
Get where I’m going with this? Good.
2. Pay for the first date.
The economy still kind of sucks and gender rules are outdated. That does not matter. Men, you pay for the first date. Ladies, be polite and offer to pay tip or split. But men, do not let them. This does not mean that you are misogynistic, it means you are a gentleman. If you really want to suave, pay the bill while she’s in the bathroom so you can just skip the back and forth of how it should be paid. After you’ve gone out a couple times, by all means split the bill — because the economy kind of sucks and gender rules are outdated. This actually solves two problems : a) by paying first she believes she's with someone who can take care of her. b) By letting her pay after a couple of times she will feel you treat her as equal. (Very important)
3. Be polite and put your phone away.
Bros, when you are going on a date, you want to be the best version of yourself. Open the door for your date (car doors are extra bonus points) and do not use the F, B, or C words or combinations of those. Be nice to the employees wherever you are and make sure to tip. The most important thing to remember is to put your phone away and keep it on silent. There is truly nothing shittier than going on a date and the person is on their phone the whole time. For all your date knows, you could be setting up a booty call for later in the night or reading about whether Kim had a baby or did Paris has her new video out. Put the phone down, you Millennial you. The game, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram can all wait until after your date.
4. Go in for the first kiss sooner rather than later.
If you’ve learned anything from The Little Mermaid, it’s to go on and kiss the girl (or that bestiality can be sexy, hopefully it’s the first). Now this is the tricky part and might need a lot of study and observation but with me its like this the first kiss should happen within the first three dates. If you wait too long, then you may get Friend-Zoned or she may think you’re not interested. A kiss doesn't mean you go all tongue wagging at her, Go in for the kiss if she’s giving you the green light. A lot of men have trouble reading signals; just because she is smiling and laughing does not necessarily mean she wants to go to third base with you. Notice her body language (leaning in and any kind of physical contact is good). Maybe she’ll touch your arm when she laughs at your dumb joke or challenge you to a thumb-war. If she’s touching you, she wants you to kiss her.
A word of caution here : This is after all India and it might or rather already be a very big deal for her so if she is worth the wait then by all means do wait. Your heart shall tell you. if it means something you'll know. How you ask? I'm yet to find out but you'll know when the time is right till then nothing beats the good old hug :)
5. Call, do not text.
Texting conversations are so FYJC. If you want to ask someone out, call them. If you are running late, text them. If you want to chat, call them. If you need an address or directions, text them. Keep texting to a minimum (especially if you’re drunk). Keep drunk texting in college where it belongs next to your porn collection and your ultra sexy chaddi.
6. Good eye contact.
Making strong eye contact shows that you are confident in yourself, and it shows that you are engaged and interested in the conversation at hand. By looking elsewhere, you are disengaging yourself from the conversation whether you mean to or not. Also, if you’re looking around, your date may assume that you’re not interested or even worse, you are checking out other people. It’s rude, it’s annoying, don’t do it. (Please don’t take this advice completely literally, because someone who makes too intense eye contact can also come across as creepy. You don’t need to stare into the depths of your date’s soul, but just show that you’re listening and you care.) FYI a direct eye contact lasting more than 7 seconds means an intention to have sex or murder.
7. Make an effort with friends and family.
This should really go without saying, but some guys are just not so adorably clueless. Guys, when you’re dating a new girl, remember that you’re also kind of dating her best friends too. You have to woo them by being so nice, so friendly, and so funny, without being so over-the-top. If you’re meeting them at a bar, buy them a round of Shots. Talk about how much you like Girls, Grey's Anatomy and 90210 and think it’s absurd that people are criticizing Lena Dunham’s naked body. They’ll like totally love you forever, which will come in handy if your girl is ever having second thoughts about you. If you meet her family, you’ve won her over. You’re officially dating, don’t fuck it up. Especially for me meeting the family is the next step to be honest. I usually don't meet family at all and by meeting I don't mean you talk to her mom when you've gone to pick her or drop her. Actually meeting the parents is a BIG deal for me. You might want to tread with caution here.
8. Compliment your date.
Your date made a large effort to look good for you, and most likely got the approval from her roomies on the perfect outfit to wear for you that borders sexy and skanky, but also cute at the same time. Tell her she looks pretty and smells good. Duh.
9. Do not talk about your ex.
This is a no brainer, but sometimes people word vomit all over their dates and talk about their latest shitty break-up. If you’re not over your ex, do not waste someone else’s time by taking them on a date. If you bring her up, you’re not over it. If you talk shit about her, you’re not over it. If you’re “still friends”, you’re not over it (and maybe they’re still using them as a booty call). Basically, don’t bring it up.
10. Be honest and communicative.
This according to me is the game changer. If you've been dating someone for a bit, and you’re starting to really like her, then tell her. Do not go overboard and start talking about how she’s the nice, next door girl you've been waiting for and how your mom is so excited to meet her at Navratri dinner. Tell her you’re enjoying getting to know her and that you like her. Being honest about your feelings and communicating them in an appropriate and non-creepy way is a fine and important line. The only time you should not be honest with your date is if she asks you if she looks good in a certain outfit. Regardless of how much you don’t like that dress on her, tell her she looks beautiful and thin. If you don’t, you’ll be getting real cozy with your laptop instead of with your date.
Ps : Please note that all of the above is very circumstantial and might actually be very disastrous to say the least so please use caution while following my Playbook :)
Goes without saying that it also depends heavily on your girl as well (if you were smart enough to notice how it depends more on your date without me pointing it out, My friend you have thing going just right for you)
No comments:
Post a Comment